How to Start not Caring What Others Think of You

I care what others think. Sometimes when I know someone is not happy with me I go bonkers. I think about it all the time. It drives me crazy. Makes me less creative.

It’s amazing what my mind will do. This is especially bad with business partners or clients. I want everyone to think I’m amazing. It’s terrible.

This often happens in partnerships. There is often tension between partners. Is the other partner/s doing enough? If I feel like a partner thinks I’m letting them down, it hurts. I’ve talked about this in a previous post. Expectations need to be set clearly in writing at the beginning and updated throughout. Just recently I asked a partner about the equity split for a new venture. I forgot that 4 months ago we emailed about it. Problem solved.

We’ve all heard that when you worry about what others think you’re in their prison. I visit prison too often. Less than I used to.

How can you stay and get out of worry-what-others-think prison? For me, the only thing is centering and meditating. You can’t think you’re way out of it. You can for a bit but it comes back and hits you harder. Sometimes in the middle of the night I’ll wake up worrying about what people think. Did I say something dumb? Probably.

Then I’ll make an elaborate mental model of why everything will be OK. I’ll convince myself. Sometimes it works sometimes not.

The only surefire way is to center myself, all the time. Centering always me to let negative emotions and comments from others pass through me. See them from a centered perspective. It’s just negative energy. Don’t fall for it. Don’t grab onto it. It’ll pass. As it passes through me it hurts. It burns. It brings about strong energy, some good, some uncomfortable. But this seems to be the way through.

After being uncomfortable, the negative feeling passes. Don’t hold onto those negative feeling. It only prevents love and creativity to flow from you.

When we push back these negative feelings, they come back, only stronger. And most important we put up more walls. More walls means less love. That’s not good.

So stop being a wimp. I know. I’m a wimp often. Instead, let’s breathe through these negative feelings. Face our worries and fears. Try to enjoy them. They’ll pass.

Then we can get back to love and creativity. Deep breath.

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